Haiti. I am here.

As I type the sounds of creole are lingering in the background.  I have made it to Haiti.  The sights and sounds are as I had envisoined and yet affected me in a way that I did not expect.  I have officially been in Haiti for less than 24 hours but I know that this place will leave a lasting impression upon all my days.

At the present moment we are at the Rescue Center.  The work done here is truly amazing.  I have been moved to tears many more times than can be counted.  The children have grabbed onto our hearts as well as our hands.  I have colored with, sang songs with, rocked to sleep, and held so many tender souls.  I have seen what I’ve seen and I can’t forget it.  It is true.

On our journey to the Rescue Center we crossed the paths of so much life.  The rivers were full of people washing clothes, bathing, and socializing.  I could not bring myself to lift the camera and shoot.  I sat still and savored each sight.  The countryside is beautiful.  BEAUTIFUL.  The mountains are nothing short of breathtaking.  My current memory verse is so fitting for these days.  Psalm 121:1-2  I raise my eyes toward the mountains where does my help come from?  My help comes from the LORD the maker of Heaven and Earth.  I have said those words over and over today all the while gazing at the gorgoues mountain range.  God is just better than He has to be.  Yes He is.

This post may be full of spelling issues and rambling.  I just wanted to write and share the very real fact that my heart is melting.  And it is not because of the heat.

Melt on.

 

8 days and counting…

Only 8 days until the our team heads off to Haiti.

Read this post from our team leader Jamie.

If you are in the Houston area and want to add to my suitcases comment or e-mail me and we can plan a pick-up.  Read the post above for a list of the Mission needs.  Also if you would like to fulfill the missionaries sweet tooth let me know…I have a list for that too. (Sour Patch Kids, Dove Chocolates, Hot Tamales, and Candy for the Children)  If you don’t live in Houston and you want to send money so we can buy the Haitians some food e-mail me and I will give you my address or paypal link.

Getting Excited.

 

the ADVENTURE of our life.

Ernest will be working with Adventures In Missions fulfilling his dream to mobilize students to see Jesus in Mission work.  Our desire is to be the hands of feet of Jesus.  We not only want that for ourselves but see the responsibility to share that with our younger generation.

We were having a little lunch chat with a friend when I realized the fun in the Adventure of all of this.  We had been asking for adventure specifically (which I have questioned many times *smile*) and the job we land at is for ADVENTURES in missions.  How ironic.

I have now seen the first results of the Photography Business.  I have a website and a photo blog.  The photo blog has no entries at this point.  It will soon. The website is running a little slow so I need to lower the image quality.  That too will be done soon.  I have learned Photoshop CS3 and the ins and outs of my Canon Rebel XTi.  I still enjoy this work, thankfully.  I have made the decision to keep this as a part time gig.  I think I will enjoy it more as such.

With all this being said…

I am longing to search out a ministry place to serve.  I am excited about different opportunities that we have to serve with our church and AIM.  Ministry is there.  I am waiting with an eager anticipation to see what ministry God may have for me.  Today I feel an almost gleefulness about this whole subject.

This adventure has been a crazy and bumpy ride.  Some of the bumps have left bruises.  The bruises have left memories where God himself stepped in.  I sit in complete awe.  Thank you Father for your faithfulness.

with much love,

Debra

 

Haiti T-Shirts are Here!

This is the moment that you have been waiting for! I can feel you standing at my blog’s door chanting OPEN, OPEN, OPEN! The design is here and the T-shirt fundraiser is officially OPEN. You are welcome to run in but please hold back on the pushing and shoving.

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Get your Haiti shirt today and you too will be cool…

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the all important sales tag ::

The shirts are $20.00 and will benefit my trip to Haiti in May 08. (Check out the other people going under Haiti.Team)

Sizes are available ranging from Youth Medium-XXX ($2 will be added for XX and XXX)

THE SHIRT WILL BE NAVY with a white print. (I will get a correct and larger picture soon)

The T-shirt brand is Anvil 980.

E-mail me at ernest.debra@gmail.com to order.

The sale will only last a couple of weeks so be sure to order soon.

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I can’t wait to hear from you. I heart a good sale.

Thank you Aaron for this amazing design. You rock!

 

The Chrysalis Experience

Something has been exploding in my brain over the last months (maybe even the last year).  Why and what questions are taking over my habitual thoughts.  The very question that finds itself at the surface is what is my deepest want.

Is it to have a beautiful home where we can escape from the world?

Is it to become important in this life?

Is it to become a drop dead amazing photographer?

Is it to live amongst great design and textures?

Is it to have wonderful friends and linger in great conversation?

Is it to be a dreamy writer?

Is it to touch the lives of women and girls around me?

Is it to share justice with the world in ways I cannot fathom?

This question has flooded my eyes with tears, brought aches to my already hurting head, and has above all left me wordless.

The last months are morphing the very person I am into one that I am to become.   I cannot convey the very emotion of my heart.  It is an intense emotional vacation of the soul.  I feel the pressure of the chrysalis around me.  The morphing is dramatic and might I add a bit scary.  I am scared at the person who is going to come out of this wrap.  I am scared that she is going to be so different that her friends will shy away.  I am more afraid of breaking free too early and remaining a very bored worm.

I loved every moment of todays service at church.  Dr. Rene’ Padilla shared along with Chris as well as an amazing apostle from Liberia.  (Liz do you know his name?  I didn’t write it down.)  At one point Dr. Padilla asked the very question that stirs every emotion in my being.  What is our deepest want as opposed to our artificial wants.  I hung on every word he spoke.  I could have all day long.  I so wish you were there.  It is a must that you download the podcast for March 2, 08.  I promise your soul will be touched.

I am amused that God meets me exactly where I am.  I feel the morphing to be tragic at times.  It is in those secret moments that I turn my eyes from my sweet Jesus to my own experience.  It never works.  He captivates me and speaks to me with his very intentional voice.  “Debra, what is your deepest want?”  In my almost little girl voice I tearfully say “I want You.”  I do.  I want the heart for sharing justice that has been birthed.  I want to capture the beautiful loved children of God on film.  I want to provide a safe haven for my family.  I want the dream that has been labored within my soul.  I want You to be written all over this emerging self.  You.  You have truly brought change to this life.

Today I am still unsure of where our life is going.  There are many different paths to choose and I feel a closing to this chapter.  I believe this time was more than needed.  If you have wondered about my lack of words or more quiet thoughts it is because there has been much to ponder.

I hope to regain my use of words soon.  I miss them.

 

a disrupted life?

dis·rupt

(ds-rpt)

tr.v. dis·rupt·ed, dis·rupt·ing, dis·rupts

1. To throw into confusion or disorder: Protesters disrupted the candidate’s speech.

2. To interrupt or impede the progress, movement, or procedure of: Our efforts in the garden were disrupted by an early frost.

3. To break or burst; rupture.

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Have you felt the disruption of life? Could it be that the disruption we face, even the fear, is placed strategically for our own good? I believe so.

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The disruption in my life has been just that, DISRUPTIVE. Everything turned upside down, everything broken, so much discomfort…

I love life in a disruptive state if He is in the midst of it.

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Have you known the effects of a life disrupted?

I would love to hear your story.

 

Are you hot?

Seriously, My question is what turns you on? Let me refine this question a bit…

What motivates you to live life? What about life excites you to the point of giddyness? When do you walk with a skip in your step and a song on your lips? What aspect of life makes your heart flutter with eager anticipation?

Let’s be honest. There are only a few things that bring about this result.

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The last 6 months have been crazy. Crazy with down time, crazy with fear, crazy with thoughts, just plain crazy. We have been in a place of between this and that. When we arrived here in our new communal living arrangement we thought this would be all of a couple of weeks,HELLO, 6 months. Through this crazy time we have learned much about ourselves, our dreams, and our faith. We have seen the intricate ways that we have been provided for spiritually and physically.

The waiting has been killing me. I have felt every moment. I even began to feel thrown aside and discarded as used up material. We sought positions then when pressed to make a decision did not feel a calling there. It has been very evaluating to say the least. All the while the future seemed very gray and unknown.

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Clarity. The gray cloud of fog has risen. The time was needed to get us here, to work out the change of heart. I could bore you with details of how the clarity light switched on but I won’t. Let’s just say it has been supernatural minutes that I plan to cherish all my days.

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We needed this time to see what turned on that switch.

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Fighting against the social injustices of the world…Teaming with a mission organization for that purpose…taking teenagers/college students on mission trips to birth a love…Giving our days away…Living them to the fullest…People…Learning new ways to share life and love…Being part of a revolution, a crazy ill equipped group of Jesus lovers…And more and more.

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This is the vision. The short side. This is what makes our heart race with desire to abandon everything for our place of service. This is when our cheeks light up with color while dreaming of the souls we will meet along the way. This is it.

We thought we were a little crazy and it turns out we are. Over the last 6 months God has crossed our path with some other crazies out there and we are the better for it. I love the community that we have been worshiping with. It has been so refreshing. The time has been more than worth it.

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What makes you live life with a HOT passion?

 

does anybody see her?

read these lyrics by casting crowns…

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon’s ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She’s another two years older
And she’s three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she’s going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she’s going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can’t see past her scarlet letter
And we’ve never even met her

If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can’t see past her scarlet letter
And we’ve never even met her

Never even met her

Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she’s going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Does anybody even know she’s going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?

He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

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See the video here.

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I am challenged to see her. Are you?

She needs us to see beyond ourself. She needs us to throw down the way we are use to doing things and love her even if she is unlovely. She needs us to love her when she doesn’t think she needs our love. Remember her heart is cold, she has been hurt, and is searching for completion. She desires the “you complete me” moment.

Do you know her? Have you seen her walking around your neighborhood? Is she the quiet girl that checks you out at the grocery store? Does she sit in your church longing for connection?

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Maybe just maybe we are here on this planet for such a time as this…just maybe…

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I want to throw out a challenge. This week open your eyes to the young women around you. Refrain from the ease of stereotype. I know the strength this will take. Talk to them. Love them. Hug them. Be Jesus to them and when they are ready carry them to Him.

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He loves her.

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Are you up to the challenge? Today let’s start a love.her.movement.

Any ideas on how to share love? Please share.

 

I have seen what I’ve seen

The places, the people, the smiles, the tears, the books, the heart…

I am sitting here on a Sunday afternoon completely full of praise and a touch of understanding.  I am being allowed at the present time to “see” much.  My heart is being emptied out for the single purpose of being refilled with a new love.   One that is deeper, stronger, softer, and more in tune with He that is love.

Everything I know is being sifted to see the trueness of loving God and loving people.  I have been opened to the love for those who are homeless.  My heart aches for the kids living on the street.  What am I doing as a lover of Jesus to minister to them?  Not one thing.  Truth is I have seen what I’ve seen and cannot pretend like I haven’t.  A longing is there…time for action.

My love for Haiti pounds deep within.  DAILY.  The four of us sit and talk about Haiti.  Our 8 year old talks of living there and having a open center to feed all of his friends.  Our hearts are being made open.  We see the pictures on this blog and dream of the day when we can adopt (hopefully soon).  Our children are very partial to Ronel a 7 year old child at the rescue center.  I am going on a missions trip to Haiti in the coming year.  I have no idea how I will fund it but I have it set in my heart to go.

I see teenagers and college students who desire to love God but seriously have no clue how to do it.  We have not taught them what relationship looks like.  They live under a set of rules then become broken hearted because their life lacks excitement.  Because I have seen this, even experienced it, I cannot sit back and let it continue.  I have to stand in the gap.  I have seen what I’ve seen.

I have seen and know of people who are daring enough to follow Jesus.  My eyes are being opened to the radical world out there.  I have seen it now I want to be a part of it.  How could I not?  Once you see it-you want it.

Watch this video from Sara Groves.  It explains exactly the emotion of my heart.  Pay close attention to the joy on her face.  We are never more like God than when we are loving others.

I have seen what I’ve seen…

I am forever changed because of it…

 

my man.

my man has written an amazing post over at in all ernestness.  go take a read.